Fear of Missing Out

I have a confession to make.

I’ve been experiencing FOMO. Fear of Missing Out.

Not missing parties, exotic vacations, or fabulous social events.

Missing my tribe! Being an artist.

After a successful career as an artist and art instructor, I’ve found myself in a rather peculiar situation. I’m spending more time helping other people paint than actually painting myself.

And lately, something has been dawned on me.

As much as I genuinely love to see my students grow, I’m getting a little jealous. Not because of their achievements, but I’m missing my tribe. The exhilaration of painting. Making decisions, going with the flow, paint all over my hands.

I feel as though I’m standing outside, looking through a window into a world I was once was fully part of.

And I want back in!

There was a time when I was fully immersed in the art community in Frederick. I had a studio, exhibited my paintings, taught classes, and had a wonderful circle of artist friends.

Sometimes people would stop me on the street. “Oh, I know you! You’re Elisabeth Vismans!” Or, “I’ve heard about you!” Occasionally, I had absolutely no idea who they were. Rather amusing!

I was part of that world. I belonged.

Somewhere along the way, that changed. And I miss it.

Last Saturday, I unexpectedly ran into two longtime artist friends from my Yellow Barn days. We hadn’t all been together in quite some time. We talked about painting, artists, and what we were working on. And “do you remember when …” It felt wonderful.

And it reminded me how much I’d missed those conversations, those friendships, and the excitement of being part of an active art community.

Not just making art. Living in that world.

Don’t get me wrong. I love teaching. I also love researching. Give me an unfamiliar artist, an interesting art movement, or a question about color, and I’m off down another rabbit hole.

Hours later, I emerge with fascinating discoveries, several books I absolutely must have, and enough material for three classes.

Wonderful!

Except I haven’t touched a paintbrush. 

Somewhere between preparing classes, creating presentations, answering emails, and keeping my website up to date, my own painting has gradually slid down the priority list.

Not intentionally. It just happened.

And then YouTube serves up another video of an artist happily painting away.

So I’ve been thinking, pondering and making a few changes going back to my roots. 

“I always wanted to paint”. Always. All my life and I’m not painting anymore.

Over the years my style moved from fairly a realistic style to more abstraction. So it wasn’t a big surprise when I began teaching abstract painting classes.

I had never made a completely abstract painting, but teaching it proved to be a welcome change. I really think that with abstraction the sky is the limit. 

I was never particularly impressed by Willem de Kooning’s paintings. And he’s a fellow Dutchman, from Rotterdam, no less! But once I started studying his work, I became a huge fan.

I’ve always loved energetic brushstrokes and bright colors which goes very well with that style.

So I’ve been rearranging my priorities and … wait for it … repositioned myself as an Abstract Artist. That’s how my whole artistic journey began.

I’ve spent the weekend redesigning my website to reflect that change.

I’m not giving up teaching but I’m realigning it with my painting style.  

I’m at my best when I paint and am part of that world.

To keep me going I’ve scheduled a solo show in the Yellow Barn, Glen Echo MD for October 30-31. It’s a weekend show.

Which means I have paintings to create, ideas to explore. The pressure is on, but that’s when I am at my best.

I can hardly wait.

Of course, there will always be another fascinating artist to research, another book to read, another rabbit hole to disappear into.

But the next time I find myself watching other artists having all the fun, I know exactly where I need to be.

In my studio.

With paint on my hands.